Paumanhin

Paumanhin sa aking pagsabi...
Hindi mapigil ang mga labi...
Sa sulat tinagong makita...
Mabilib sa wikang makata...

Paumanhin pagkat di mapakita...
Mistula'y hindi ako panata...
Maaaring galaw ay hindi nga...
Pero damdami'y umaapaw ng lubha...

Paumanhin dahil ang puso mo...
Palagay sa iba sya patungo...
Sana magkaroon sa panahon...
Ng hinihintay na pagkakataon...

Paumanhin kung ikaw ay nagulo...
Ang damdamin, mundo mong buo...
Ngutin kung ako ay palarin...
Pangarap ko'y sana'y tuparin...

Paumanhin kung ako ay nahulog...
Patibong mo ako ay dinumog...
Sana'y tumuloy ang ngiti mo...
Pagkaibiga'y di sana maglaho...
                            

Missing in Reading

Very much rarely do you get to see...
    A lady with beauty but whose heart is free...
Long talks and long rides lead one to admire...
    Each word and each song makes one go aspire...
Richness in times and moments were shared...
    Inside of my heart all are kept ensnared...
Ever for a chance I will wait...
    Lost to forever... Wish wanted too late...

A new year comes for one and all
New challenges, appear, they shall
As fireworks and lights fill the sky
We thank God for the year passed by
And welcome this new year with cheer
We shout to scare those that we fear
And to each one of you I wish
A year of happiness and bliss.

Happy New Year all!!!

Unfinished Dream

We were on a night of one solar day
Childish in chats with each as we lay
on sofas where our acts a little amiss
Elated with each of our own childish bliss

I saw through the frames that hid your bright eye
You sought for a shoulder for where you can lie
Comfort you found on another one
A tingling inside sparked a wish to be done

I asked if space on your side may I fill
Surprisingly sudden it was too your will
In grasp each hand each other's we took
Souls opened up upon each one's eye's look

A beautiful sight, a fantasy born
A setting we wished would last until morn
And then I woke up

My thoughts of you...

If I may see the diamonds behind those frames...
yet a wall of air divides.
Most scenes just with calling out one's names...
Then back to each one's lives.

The lines so small, and small they are...
That's how the verses stay.
No shots, no sights, no pen, no words...
Yet songs for you I play.

And parting moons they now appear...
I wonder what could have been.
Could it still be, now or next year...
Or stay the same by each one's fear...
That we may never be as near...

My thoughts of you...

Magics and Clarities

Well, yeah there's only one JAR who came from a video game company and transferred to a financial company in this world, AFAIK, and if people listened to Magic 89.9 tonight they might have heard someone reading my text to their Debate Wednesday topic. The topic was a choice between being in an underpaying dream job, or being in a high salary boring job. I could not help but want to tell my story, but since I didn't have the battery I decided to text a long message, which was not read word per word, so a lot of info was lost or misread.

First of all, personally I think I was performing well in my old company. What I was trying to say was that I didn't think my future was to stay in there. I felt that there was a lot more for me to improve upon myself, and I don't feel that I was going to get it in that company. Good pay, good people, but I didn't see myself in there after 5 years. Sorry to my old officemates who are reading this, but this is one of the things that I felt.

Second, my explanation at the end is this: For me, it's not whether I have a higher paying job or I'm in the job that I have always dreamed to do. I think it's more of whether I'll be able to grow into a better person or help others to become better people. In the long term, even if you're in a high paying job or job that you've always wanted to do, but if it does not get you anywhere, it's not desirable.

Third, my current job is not boring, but it's easier. The good news is that I feel that I will be able to improve myself more in this company. They even expect their employees to be spending around a certain time in a year for training. In other words, more chances for me to grow up.

Something I noticed this night about the callers was that most of the people who have mentioned that they want their dream jobs are those that haven't worked yet, and those that have worked chose to be in the high paying job. Just an observation, but I don't want to generalize.

Yeah, I posted this in my blog. I actually hope that some of my old officemates get to read this, and maybe some of the Magic Jocks, if their accounts in my Friendster are their real accounts.

Emo?

Some people might have noticed that I had been quite emo for the past few days. After all, I told them lol. But I don't go emo just because.

At the office? Nope. Everything is very much fine at the office. Still continuing to meet new people, doing more challenges, trying to do work... Nothing bad about it.

WoW? Nope. Why should I get emo over a game? Who cares if some of my friends have already reached 60? Well, ok I did get a little emo at one point because of not doing well with my priest, but I guess it was ok as it made me realize that I don't really like being a priest. Maybe I'm not the one for that job. (IRL too? Maybe =P)

Family? Nope. Everything is fine at home. Expecting someone to come by this week from Canada, and I guess we'll have some stuff from there. That's always good. And my sis got me a Dilbert book! Gotta love Dilbert lol.

Music? Yeah I listen to emo music. Join the Club is actually quite emo for me, and right now they're my favorite band. Sugarfree's third album didn't quite make my expectations, but their songs are starting to grow on me and I'm starting to think that it's much better than expected.

Center? Nothing will ever be wrong with that. =P

So what else is making me emo? Am I forgetting something? Maybe it was because something was forgotten?

Sometimes... it's really in the small trivial things that make one realize how much one really cares. It's at times when you expect something small, maybe even just a few words, but then it's not given. And it's those who you never expected to hear them from that actually say them to you first.

I guess it's ok. Even though there might be some that are forgotten, I do know there are some that remembered.

Again, thanks to all that remembered. =)

Life... oh life... oh life

Interesting fad in the office right now... Puzzles. =P

I've always liked puzzles. I guess I inherited it from my dad. He used to buy Dell puzzle magazines all the time and solve various puzzles. Sometimes I'd steal into one of them and solve the easy ones. In time I managed to do some of the more difficult ones... now I'm the one who buys them when I suddenly have the urge. =P

Of course my favorite puzzle of all time, and I guess one of my "secret" talents is the Rubix cube. From grade school to college I've practiced, memorized and improved various patterns that I've encountered. Though I don't get to practice much lately, I believe I can still get good times when I solve it. There are times when I try to remember what moves I did when I encountered, and I can't manage to remember them if I'm not holding a cube, but when I see it I just suddenly know what to do.

An officemate of mine commented when she found out that I solve the cube, and she said that it's easy because patterns are available. You just follow them and you're done. I do not deny, I am guilty of that fact. Out of all the sequences I do, only one or two are original, and I can say that they are even just derived from other sequences I have encountered.

Then I thought... Aren't all puzzles like that? There are various patterns... In Sudoku it's crossing out numbers... in Kakuro it's looking for what I call "hot numbers" or those that only have one combination of numbers. Math problems, may they be word problems or whatever, usually have that technique to solve them, which may be considered a pattern. In some cases, it's a very crucial key, where a very difficult problem suddenly becomes so easy after finding it. I guess this is what makes solving the cube special... Anyone can learn the pattern, but how fast you can see it, how fast you implement it, knowing the right pattern to do, how decided you are in doing it... That's what makes one an expert on it.

And then, I realized... One's whole life can actually be seen as a puzzle. Problems encountered everyday can be compared to various patterns, may it be personal experience, or stories by other people. As with the rubix cube, some patterns may become instinctive due to good habits (or bad vices? lol). When you think about the situation, you may not know or forget what to do when you encounter it, but when it comes face to face with you, you know what to do. Anyone can live life to the fullest as long as they have learned the "patterns" of life. It's up to us on how fast we can react, knowing what to do with them, and deciding to do them, when those patterns come.

LOL... I guess I just think about it too much... Which leads to another discussion, our team building in Nasgbu just this previous Saturday. I'll post pics when I get them... haha

There was a part there where you find out what your dominant work trait was. I forget the terms they used... all I remember was that one trait is the aggressive just do work attitude, another is the get many friends attitude, another is the OC/try to be constant about things attitude, while the last is the perfectionist/analyzing attitude. My dominant attitude was of course the last one. (Which is prolly the reason why I'm making a post analyzing all these XDDD).

Then I start to wonder... I know that one's personality is a mix of those different attitudes, only some may be stronger than the others. The handler explained this at the start. The exercise determines which are the stronger ones, but I realized, it does not determine how strong they really were. It was all comparison with the other traits, but how truly dominant one was or how OC one was... It was not determined. I thought about it because I knew I was a mix of all the traits, but how strong was I on those that were weak compared to my perfectionist/analytical side?

Anyways I guess I better stop now before I start to think about things too much ^_^ Whatever they mean... I hope I just made sense =P Life truly is a puzzle... haha

Ironies in Life

Suffering even though I'm happy...

That's the title of the next episode of Honey and Clover II that I'm going to watch. It's interesting as it's an irony, and I just simply love ironies. But normally I don't just like ironies just because they're contradictory, but also because they send important messages.

Like this. The quote made me think. How true is it? And what about the reverse? Happy even though I'm suffering?

I thought about it for a while, and yes, they can both be true. And another irony that I find is that, I think most would think that it's easier to find a situation where someone suffers even though he's happy than where someone is happy even though one suffers.

But by experience, it's easier to find situations where one is happy even though one suffers. I guess this is due to knowing how to do sacrifices or moritifications, and being happy because you know you're doing what is right.

In the case where one suffers when one is happy... I think the main problem here is not really that it is uncommon. I actually believe it is very very common, but the question is whether people see that they're suffering even though they're happy. Example: Addiction.

And there's another example for me, as I believe I've experienced it. Though I won't really get into the details of it. All I can say is yes, I've experienced it. ^_^

WoWoWeeee!!!

WoW... sing to the tune of Beer by Itchyworms :P

Nais kong magpalevel ten
Kahit na tulala
Tulog ko ay nabibitin
Kape walang sawa

Nagpapalevel na ako sa mga kalaban na bumabangon sa mga hukay
Sila'y katulad ng itsura ko kapag naglalakad ako ay mukha nang bangkay

Giliw...
Paabot nga ng Visine
Ang mga araw ay bigla na lang naglaho
Dahil lumipas nang ako ay naglalaro
Lahat ng iyo's nawala nung naadik ako
Kaya ngayon...

Chorus:
Sa Azeroth ako'y pumapatay na ng kalaban
Nagpapalevel na parang alang kinabukasan
Bawa't attack, Bawa't sapak
Ano ba talagang mas gusto ko
Ang WoW char ko o ang buhay na 'to

Nais kong pumatay ng Trogg
Para sa items ko
Maghahanap ako ng Tin
At miminahin ko

Kukuha ako ng gear at ipapaenchant ko sa tao para lalo lumakas ito
Lahat ay aking gagawin upang lahat sila'y isipin na malakas na ako

Chorus:
Sa Lordaeron papatay na ako ng mga Ally
Maglalaro ako hanggang sa mawalan ng malay
Bawa't patay, Maging tulay
Para tumaas ang level ko
Sa game na tong kinaadikan ko